Love Gives me hope

So I read Love Gives Me Hope all the time and I have submitted a couple but they never get approved... So this is my love gives me hope, what gets me through and gives me the hope to survive an awful day.

Jeremiah Donald Bostic gives me hope. I love you to the ends of the earth and back babe. You were my knight in shining armor on so many occassions and I know that for the rest of my life you will continue to be my knight in shining armor. You know what to say at the right moment, and you mean it. I love you for that. You believe in me when everyone else is giving up. You like the fact that I ramble on, and I love the fact that you like that. You could have any girl and you chose me, and for that I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I love you so much Jeremiah.

Lauren Marine White. Well Ethan said it best when he said your life is a train wreck... but its an inspiring train wreck. Actually what your life is is a reverse train wreck... you are a big pile of scrap metal but little by little you are regaining your old shape. Roomie you never give up and that inspires me. Your blog has taught me so much more about you that I never knew. You hide your pain and problems from me so well that I have no idea something is wrong. Never give up because your determination to succeed gives me hope and makes me never want to give up.

To the random guest at Target on Friday. His family is responsible for the climbing wall at SLU and he was a Marine. What he said to me really help me to put my priorities first.

"What are you doing working here?"

Mr. Monroe you are very right, I go to St. Lawrence University and this dead end job is only a stepping stone to my dreams... and I can't let it get in the way of my dreams.

Everyday I am amazed by people's kindness. A woman cleaned WalMart out of the $2.50 yellow, tan, and green towels to give to the returning soldiers who are single and do not even own a clean towel. You give me hope. I wish more people saw that need.

Jeremiah I miss you so much and I love you more than you will ever know. I am so glad I got to talk to you tonight but now I only miss you more and wish I could fall asleep in your arms.

Surviving on Letters

So I entitled this blog Marrying the Marine Corps, Dating the Army but I really haven't talked much about the Marine Corps side. I guess it hit me that I am 21 and I have atleast the next 6 years completely planned out and I wasn't sure I liked the direction. It was more of a panic attack because it looked like it wasn't going to work out. So I leave for OCS in 14 days and I am as nervous as hell. I am scared I am less prepared than last year. I am scared that I am going to let people down, but most importantly I am going to let myself down. Last week for the first time ever I got a perfect score on my crunches AND flexed arm hang. But my run time is still failing by 2 minutes. My last chance is next Friday and I am praying that I will make it. I need to make it. This is every hope and dream I have had for the last 2 years. This is biggest test of my life and I can not fail it, that is not an option. And honestly the only thing that might get me through this is the support of my awesome and loving boyfriend.

I feel like I survive day to day based on whether I hear from him or get a letter in the mail. I got my first two letters in the mail yesterday! They were beautiful and they hit home to say the least. He meant every word he wrote and every word touched my heart and in that instant I didn't feel alone at all. I smile, laughed, and cried all at the same time. He wiped away every doubt I have ever had in my life and I know for sure he is the one for me. It is weird because i haven't heard his voice in 3 weeks but it feels I talked to him because we talked on facebook. That little bit of contact just reassures me and gets me through the week to the weekend when I get to talk to him next.

I will say I have found the best way to distract myself... 2 jobs... at Walmart and Target. I feel like a double agent some days but then again they both run their companies so differently and I think Walmart is clearly better at it. I barely find time to do day to day chores, let alone really worry about Jeremiah. Except for when I miss his phone call because I am working... that sucks and makes me hate working so much. On the upside I am not as worried about money because I am getting 2 paychecks. I used one to pay off my credit card bill and the other I get to use to put into savings. I am also able to put more away for Jeremiah's care packages... I guess it all evens out in the end. I am just worried sometimes I am running myself into the ground for no reason but then I realize its because of so many things... #1 being Jeremiah. He is absolutely the most important thing in my life and always will be. I told his step mom about the letters and I said I felt spoiled because I got 2. She said I am spoiled because he never talks to anyone else. And I told her how awful I felt. He said it was a good thing because I am the most important thing in his life. I am just so glad that I met the man of my dreams who believes in me no matter what I do it seems. Just thinking of him makes me smile from ear to ear and he is what gets me through those hard days when I just want to quit everything... He is my rock, he is my everything, even from 6,000 miles away... I love Jeremiah Donald Bostic with all of my heart.

R&R... what it really seems to mean

So today I was standing in Bed Bath & Beyond and I was discussing with my aunt about Jeremiah's R&R. We had been throwing around ideas about roadtrips to Maine, cruises to the bahamas, treking through Alaska, and just staying at home with a trip to Ohio. So as we were checking out I brought up the problem of where would we stay. My house will be winterized when he comes home. A hotel just seems so expensive and then my aunt offered to let us stay in her house.

And then the cashier decided to add her 2 cents...

"Well on my husbands next R&R we are going to Australia... You shouldn't spend it with his family... spend as much time as you can with him..."

Well just about the only thing I agreed with was the spending as much time with him as possible. Yeah a nice vacation sounds really awesome but what happens when his R&R gets pushed up or pushed back? The cashier did admit that she missed out on 4 days with her husband because it got pushed up and she couldn't get a plane for 4 days. Well that just makes it impossible to plan a vacation. It all needs to be spur of the moment type stuff. And that is exactly why a roadtrip with Jeremiah to Ohio sounds perfect. And if it just happens to be around Christmas well then he will get to meet my family and I will get to meet his. He will be here for my birthday and Christmas and maybe New Years.

But I have decided on one thing for sure. I don't want to know when it is. I don't want to plan a thing. I just want him to tell me a week before he leaves Afghanistan so I know he is coming and then can make arrangements from there. I don't want to get my hopes up, there is no point in it. I know he will be home eventually, when doesn't really matter.

And that is when the other cashier piped up... "You have your head screwed on"

R&R is supposed to be for rest and relaxation, but if you aren't careful it can stress you out.

9 weeks down, 43 to go... and figuring out life

Well may I just say that I have the most amazing boyfriend ever. Just thinking about him can make me smile, even though I haven't seen him in 9 weeks. Every time I get a phone call I feel like I am on top of the world. He called me on Friday and Sunday. It was amazing to get to talk to him for an hour each time. It was nice to laugh and joke and for a few minutes it didn't feel like he was 6,000 miles away. Now just if I could see his face. Pretty sure I might just cry the first time we get to skype.

Its funny how 7 months ago, I didn't even know who Jeremiah was. Now its hard to imagine my future without him. He said it best when I got to talk to him on Friday: "no one is as caring, understanding, and can listen as well as I can?" Bam! Hit that nail right on the head. At the end of the day sometimes I wish he was there so I could just vent because he is the only person I can talk to about everything... including my fears and frustrations. And after a week like this, it was so nice to talk to him twice in one weekend. And I had so much to say but I just don't know how to say it.

Why in the world am I doing this??

Well I must say the idea of blogging is quite intriguing and just about everybody and their brother keeps one. So why not me? I always have lots of thoughts during the day that I wish I wrote down.. and maybe now I will. I will admit I decided to write this while watching Julie and Julia. I saw how much it empowered her and I have now decided I am going to try this for myself. I am not exactly doing anything daring like she did, but just writing out my thoughts, ideas, and the like. I came up with the title "Marrying the Marine Corps, Dating the Army" because well I am joining the Marine Corps next year when I graduate from college and my boyfriend is in the Army. And as anyone who has a loved someone in the military, even if you aren't in it, it will control you somehow. It determines when you get to see your loved one and for how long. It decides where they go and when they will go. It also decides that as only a girlfriend I am not privileged enough to know if something should happen to him while he is overseas. A deployment consumes your life and it seems like you think about that person a million times more than when they were at home.

My name is Nicole and this is going to be my journal for the next 44 weeks. My boyfriend Jeremiah is deployed until next April (hopefully not longer). He deployed on April 6, 2010. Yesterday was 8 weeks of being without him. I never count the days, just the Tuesdays. It has been 8 Tuesdays since he left. I have decided to do this because well to be honest I have never been good at the pen and paper type of journal but I do enjoy putting my ideas and thoughts on papers. I am doing this too because Jeremiah once let me read his journal and this way he can. Anytime he likes he can read it.